To Ferberize or Not To Ferberize

That is the question. We let Merrina "cry it out" last night. Needless to say, it was a bit traumatic for all involved. My question really, is whether you think it's necessary if you already have a good sleeper. See, Merrina (6 months old) sleeps all night from about 6:45 PM until 6AM. What I'm trying to do is have her learn how to go to sleep on her own. The ritual is: nurse her at 6PM, then change her diaper and put on sleep sack (if she had fallen asleep during nursing, she totally wakes up at this point, which is good because I don't want to 'nurse her down'), then I rock her while singing some songs and then put her in her crib. It works beautifully if she falls asleep rocking, and it also works very well if she is just barely-barely awake when we stop rocking, but if she is still fairly conscious when I put her in her bed and walk out, she starts crying after 5-15 minutes (once she realizes she's alone and/or drops her binky). A few times she has stayed asleep or just stopped crying before I went back in, but usually, I go back in after 5 minutes of crying and if I hold her hand until she falls back asleep, we're good for the rest of the night. I guess I just wonder if she really needs to learn how to fall asleep without holding my hand (and maybe without the rocking???) Don't get me wrong, I love this night ritual- but I just wonder if I'm doing her a dis-service? On the other hand, maybe she'll just grow out of the need to hold hands/rocking to the brink of sleep...? What do you think? Last night seemed bad:she cried for 5 min, then I went back in very briefly to put her binky back in and when she saw me walk out, started bawling for another 10 min, and then when I went back in again, I may have stayed a little too long holding her hand (about 3 minute), but she finally fell asleep. Just wondering what you think...

Salvation

I've been having a tough time lately. Unfortunately, this has been negatively effecting my husband as well. Nagging wife = bad feelings. Poor guy. And poor me too. I hate when I get in the spiral of negativity. My spiral has it's own gravity; it pulls everything along with it. I've been driving everybody nuts trying to get Merrina to take regular naps, and longer naps. Not only do all the books remind you that a bad nap day means a bad (non) sleeping night, but you find this out yourself easily enough, and on top of it, what the heck do you do with a infant for 12 hours a day!!?? She can't sit on her own yet, so I'm pretty much physically holding her or moving her from chair to swing to floor to car seat all day long. Dishes pile up, dust bunnies form, dinners and beds are left un-made.

But today I'm feeling so much better. The e-mail message below (written to Charlie) explains:

While I've decided to stop sharing all my baby chagrin with you, I thought you may enjoy hearing the good news that I found salvation today. It came in the form of a two-year old blog posting (http://www.askmoxie.org/2007/03/qa_babies_takin.html). Literally, reading this made me cry. I know I'm not alone! And not a freak. And not a bad mom. Thank God for the Internet.

Love,

xoxo

I think he'll be happy to hear something positive, but I don't think he'll really understand the depth of relief and appreciation I feel at hearing these words from other women in my situation. I know, I know...."just relax and go with the flow". That's obviously good advice for any mother, but sometimes , it just doesn't cut it until you hear it from someone who is going through exactly the same thing as you. And until your exhausted and desperate enough to believe it.