Do Bloggers Have House Cleaners?

Do all bloggers have house cleaners? I mean, how do you get it all done? I'm supposed to be keeping a running record of all the special times with my baby and also creating cute scrapbook/baby book pages to go along with my thoughts. When do most mom's do all this? Mina is down for her nap. I'm hoping for a good hour - but it could end up being closer to two. Here's all the things I have to do:

-call the doctor's office
-make and eat lunch
-put away the groceries I just bought
-write something deep and meaningful about motherhood and my sweet baby girl
-sweep the floor downstairs
-sweep and mop the kitchen
-vacume upstairs
-do a load of laundry
-call the painter back to figure out when he can start the cabinets, and coordinate this with the countertop installation
-figure out what to do with the plant that fell out of it's small pot
-prep for dinner (or else just wing it later, when I've finally put her down and am ready to relax)
-car registration renewal on-line. Shouldn't take long, but I already wasted precious time earlier as I got to the final step and thier server went down. (I can just imagine the whole state of California imploding soon. Once we're bankrupt, all the government workers will just walk out and chaos will ensue...)

Anyway, I guess I'll just choose the most immediate tasks, and if she keeps sleeping then maybe
I'll get even more done...

To Ferberize or Not To Ferberize

That is the question. We let Merrina "cry it out" last night. Needless to say, it was a bit traumatic for all involved. My question really, is whether you think it's necessary if you already have a good sleeper. See, Merrina (6 months old) sleeps all night from about 6:45 PM until 6AM. What I'm trying to do is have her learn how to go to sleep on her own. The ritual is: nurse her at 6PM, then change her diaper and put on sleep sack (if she had fallen asleep during nursing, she totally wakes up at this point, which is good because I don't want to 'nurse her down'), then I rock her while singing some songs and then put her in her crib. It works beautifully if she falls asleep rocking, and it also works very well if she is just barely-barely awake when we stop rocking, but if she is still fairly conscious when I put her in her bed and walk out, she starts crying after 5-15 minutes (once she realizes she's alone and/or drops her binky). A few times she has stayed asleep or just stopped crying before I went back in, but usually, I go back in after 5 minutes of crying and if I hold her hand until she falls back asleep, we're good for the rest of the night. I guess I just wonder if she really needs to learn how to fall asleep without holding my hand (and maybe without the rocking???) Don't get me wrong, I love this night ritual- but I just wonder if I'm doing her a dis-service? On the other hand, maybe she'll just grow out of the need to hold hands/rocking to the brink of sleep...? What do you think? Last night seemed bad:she cried for 5 min, then I went back in very briefly to put her binky back in and when she saw me walk out, started bawling for another 10 min, and then when I went back in again, I may have stayed a little too long holding her hand (about 3 minute), but she finally fell asleep. Just wondering what you think...

Salvation

I've been having a tough time lately. Unfortunately, this has been negatively effecting my husband as well. Nagging wife = bad feelings. Poor guy. And poor me too. I hate when I get in the spiral of negativity. My spiral has it's own gravity; it pulls everything along with it. I've been driving everybody nuts trying to get Merrina to take regular naps, and longer naps. Not only do all the books remind you that a bad nap day means a bad (non) sleeping night, but you find this out yourself easily enough, and on top of it, what the heck do you do with a infant for 12 hours a day!!?? She can't sit on her own yet, so I'm pretty much physically holding her or moving her from chair to swing to floor to car seat all day long. Dishes pile up, dust bunnies form, dinners and beds are left un-made.

But today I'm feeling so much better. The e-mail message below (written to Charlie) explains:

While I've decided to stop sharing all my baby chagrin with you, I thought you may enjoy hearing the good news that I found salvation today. It came in the form of a two-year old blog posting (http://www.askmoxie.org/2007/03/qa_babies_takin.html). Literally, reading this made me cry. I know I'm not alone! And not a freak. And not a bad mom. Thank God for the Internet.

Love,

xoxo

I think he'll be happy to hear something positive, but I don't think he'll really understand the depth of relief and appreciation I feel at hearing these words from other women in my situation. I know, I know...."just relax and go with the flow". That's obviously good advice for any mother, but sometimes , it just doesn't cut it until you hear it from someone who is going through exactly the same thing as you. And until your exhausted and desperate enough to believe it.

Big Girl Crib

Last night was her last night sleeping in the bassinet in our room. She moves down to her “big girl” crib tonight in her own room. To be honest, I think it’s going to be harder for us than for her! I know I will miss her little grunts and sighs and whimpering (who would have ever thought I would miss that!!!) and it will be hard having her so far away- downstairs. It’s not that I fear for her safety- I will just miss having her right there with us. As I was feeding her last night at 3:30 AM , I got to thinking that even that dreaded task is going to be gone soon. I will really miss that. As hard as it was getting the breastfeeding going, I can’t bear to think that it too will be phased out. She can start solids anytime. The pediatrician says to start at 5 months- does that mean when she begins her 5th month (which has already happened – she’s 19 weeks), or does it mean when she’s got 5 months under her belt and is beginning the 6th month??? I suppose it doesn’t really matter. All I know is that my tiny little baby is growing up. When she first came home she was impossibly small. My mom was here and often put her on the sofa and when I would wake from a much-needed rest that first week, I would find her there - just a tiny bundle that was not even capable of rolling off. At her smallest point, she dropped down to 5 lbs something (just under 6 lbs) and now she’s a whopping 14 lbs (in the 50th percentile, making her exactly average for her age) One day (not too far from now, I suspect), I will look back on this period and think how small and young she was!

But for now, I miss the tiny little creature she used to be. Those were the times when she would be forever stretching; arms up and out, fingers fully extended; legs jetting out and feet flexed; back stretches so fully arched that her tiny body would form a question mark shape when you picked her up. I guess those last few months in the womb were really cramped quarters. Those were the times when I would put her over my shoulder and she would be driven by some kind of silent, primal directions to migrate towards my neck and nestle there under my chin. Those were the times when she learned to trust me while changing her diaper. At first, it was an ordeal for her. In a short space of time, however, she came to understand that it was better to have a dry diaper and she began to really enjoy our time together at the changing table. In fact, I believe that the diaper/clothes changing times were really where we began to bond- this is where she first smiled at me; made her first ‘coos’ and had her first giggle.

I’ll be dreaming of these early times tonight as I camp out on the nursery floor, helping her through one of many, many ‘next’ steps.